The mind thinks through scenarios very fast sometimes. "Fun. I don't think I did that right. Look at the ground. Coming fast!!" Ahhh, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
What a pretty day for a ride up Green Canyon in the valley of Cache. Steve, Mike and I brought along the regular rides but one rider decided to go upscale. Tyler rode up on his steed that promised performance not before seen on this trail. We were in awe. For starters, he had about 20 less gears than the rest of us, giving him a clear weight advantage. His tires were skinny, further saving precious weight. The ground tread was an obvious attempt at limiting the amount of rubber and increasing speed in the flat sections. The coup de grace was the permanently locked front shocks (disguised as old-fashioned fixed forks) which alleviate the loss of energy on uphills and increase the ability to jump across streams without fear of the dreaded recoil attack. After admiring for a few minutes, we were off, left to our own thoughts of inferiority. Luckily, Tyler is a generously superior kind of guy.
The first adventure came quick as I saw the lead rider, Steve, swerve violently away from the side of the dirt road. As I got closer, I heard him repeating over and over, "Rattlesnake, it almost got me, rattlesnake,..." Sure enough, there was the rattler shaking a warning at us from the dirt berm. Steve seemed greatly affected by this and told us to go on while he "took care of some unfinished business". Soon after heading down the trail, we looked back to see Steve swinging something over his head and yelling, "This is for little Fluffy Pup, you sidewinding devil!!!..."
Due to the heavy snowfall, the canyon stream was the highest we had ever seen it. The water crossings were deeper than before and required pedalling through rather than just coasting like we were able to do last week. After kicking himself for missing my dunking last week, Mike had his video camera going at every crossing. He was very helpful too. "No, further to the left... Of course it *looks* like it's steeper, but trust me, huffyman..." I gave in and pretended to struggle through some of the crossings, but mostly because I hope the video goes viral and I become as rich as that Star Wars Kid on YouTube.
The most interesting thing we saw was two men running through the woods in their blue and red striped underwear. We think they were running up the canyon looking for the person who stole their clothes, but also wondered if they stole each other's clothes and were taking turns chasing each other. Anyway, I'm glad my kids were not along to witness the strangely interesting travesty.
On the way back, Tyler and I tried different methods of earning style point from the trail judges. Tyler chose a water crossing where the entry point was very steep and decided to take advantage of his bikes lack of shocks and did a flying wheelie into the stream!! It was a real crowd pleaser and he certainly made his fans happy with that bold move. I tried to think of a way to top that as we rode down the most fun section of trail - smooth and curvy and fast. Then I saw it. The sweet rock pile that Steve went over first, then Mike and Tyler close behind. I decided that I had to do it as well and this takes us back to the beginning of today's trail report... (It's that sentence about the ground coming up real fast, in case you'd forgotten)
Going up was great. easy. euphoria. hmmm... I don't remember that sheer drop off... That's when the thoughts (emotional screaming) came very very fast. Once I saw the ground racing toward me, I took a quick inventory of important body parts to protect. As if in unison the other body parts screamed, "The face! Take the face! Can't make it any worse!!!" So I carried out their wishes and my face cushioned the blow as the rest of my body followed deftly and softly to the ground. I had to replace my glasses anyway, so no problem there. After I sat up, it took a minute for the guys to figure out where I was hurt - "Hasn't his face ALWAYS looked like that?" After slipping on the now single-lensed crooked glasses and telling ol' Hoo Koo E Koo to giddy-ap, we cruised back down the road to the parking lot while the other guys raced down on the trail the rest of the way. I tried racing them, but the lack of depth perception on a rocky road creates some tricky maneuvering!
Ahhh, another beautiful day and a great ride. And in case there is a question, there is only one place that
will be guaranteed to be found this next Friday afternoon. At a certain rock pile on a certain trail. I will ride that pile of rocks and like Steve and his rattler, I will have my retribution.
If you ain't fallin', you ain't trying nothin' new! See ya on the trail!
huffyman
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