Where's Mike?!

Ever since the she-devil caught wind of a certain blog last week, I’ve been worried about the safety of Mike, who I made the mistake of mentioning by name. I wasn't so worried about myself as it would be too obvious for the writer of the exposé to just disappear into thin (or hot) air. But Mike was an unwitting co-conspirator who did not ask to be part of this drama. When we showed up at class last Friday, there was the smile telling us that she always knew we were troublemakers. Little did we know the consequences of bringing her treacherous methods to light. Mike has now been gone for the last 2 classes. Coincidence?! This morning, Lisa coyly asked, while I was struggling through chest flys in the dungeon straps, where Mike was? I told her, “You know where he is…” She laughed joyfully and had me switch to the deltoid fly, as if that would shut me up. It did.

I knew I was in trouble when on Monday, while fighting through a long and excruciating V-sit, the princess of pain started kicking my feet and trying to knock me over. She claimed it was to help us develop more core balancing muscles, but she seemed to delight in it a bit too much for me to believe there was real purpose beyond simple torture. And who named this month’s exercises the Playground?! This is not like any playground I’ve ever run around on! The bike steals my lung capacity, though weirdly, I have to pedal faster and increase the tension to get the same workout lately. And the incline treadmill seems to be a little easier than it was 2 ½ months ago – probably some trick from the she-devil to make us think we are stronger. Every time I want to throw in the towel because something is too hard, there she is, pushing me with that smiling encouragement. Dang her! I think she also messes with time (what power DOESN’T she have?!) because classes seem to go by so fast that I can’t believe it’s over when the pitchfork hits the ending bell. I have to admit that I like this particular trick.

One final note to the unbelievers… After the workout ended today and we were cooling down, the voice came from behind me… “It’s soooo cold in here! We need more heat!!” Understand that we were all sweating and SHE (-devil) was cold. Kind of drives home the point that Lisa is used to a much warmer environment, if you know what I mean. And that brings us back to Mike. Release him, please, and let him return to the morning workouts! I promise we will be more obedient. If you have to take anyone, take the one who likes Burpees so much… You know who she is!