My Testimonial – May 30, 2012

Wayne Crabtree

I was asked to write some thoughts about this workout program I just went through and I’m kinda at a loss. How does one describe a period of time that changes the definition of self. The idea of discovering things about myself that 48 years had not taught me creates an energy that I find hard to put into words. Here’s my best shot…

One of my very first concerns was the 6 am start time 3 days a week. I don’t mind mornings, but waking up at 5:24am on a regular basis seemed like a hard thing. I decided early on that I can do hard things. And I did. I still don’t like waking that early, but after 3 months of doing it, I know it’s worth it. And might that be a smile on my face as I reach for the alarm clock? Nope… waking this early is still hard.

For this program, before and after measurements were taken as well as some fitness benchmarks. Oh and the pictures…

“Please come out from behind the couch, Huffyman”, they politely pleaded.   

“Can’t you just accept this self-portrait I did with crayon? It’s recent!”

“Shurrrrrre”, they said. “Stand over by the wall and show it to us…” Click! Dang. Fell for the oldest trick in the book.

Fast forward 3 months. Time for the ‘after’ pictures.  A new physique, and new outlook on life; one might say a completely new me…

“Please come out from behind the couch, Huffyman…”

In addition to the photos and measurements, there were the benchmarks… I gave the 3 tests all I had. I lifted myself to the Rip:60 straps from the ground, up and down, for a minute, and I felt like my shoulders were on fire. I was taught what a ‘burpee’ was (they could have just called it, ‘your worst nightmare’) and I spent a minute completing enough of them to cause my whole body to shake. Finally the 5 minute VF challenge. Natalie said VF stood for very fun.  But then Natalie gave birth to her second daughter (during this 3 month challenge) while doing burpees and mountain climbers, intermingled with diamond pushups with her feet in the dungeon straps. Serious. 3 minutes into the VF challenge, I realized it stood for vicious fanaticism. I wanted to quit but Chelsea’s cheering kept me going all the way to the end. I had pushed my body to its limits. Recovery didn’t come easy. In fact, I think I was still a little out of breath when I started the ‘after’ benchmark tests earlier this week. I was a little nervous to do the tests again, after they had whipped me so bad before. I again gave all I had. And though I was already feeling great about how far I had come in 3 months, it didn’t hurt to see my burpee number increase by 17%, my 5 minute VF (Vociferously Freaking) challenge increase by a sweet 25% and my rip:60 pull-ups increase by a whopping 44%! The effort wiped me out and I hope to recover by sometime mid-June, but I was so happy about the results of the last 3 months of hard work that I didn’t care!

What can I say that would give proper credit to the support from the others in the class with me. We didn’t often talk – mostly half-smiled and groaned and coughed as we passed each other from one post to another. We shared in the pain and the successes and we laughed together, especially during the cool-downs. For the hour we were together, we shared experiences that changed us from strangers to friends who sweated and strained and shook in front of each other without shame.  I still don’t know the names of all my compatriots, but I know they helped me hour by hour, week by week, to be a better person and I am grateful to each one for that. I hope each knows the inspiration they were to me.

Keeping watch on our form and pushing us every morning to do our very best was Lisa. She is the trainer that I needed to get me to push myself more than I thought was possible. Her ever-present smile while encouraging and correcting kept one going, and pushing, and fighting. Lisa knew what it took to push through these workouts because she has been there herself. We trusted her implicitly and she returned that trust with results. She noted our progress and celebrated the positive changes with us. Though I will say that she seemed to like burpees a little more than I think they deserved.  I’m sure all the trainers were terrific, but Lisa was the one who made me look forward to getting to the gym at 6am. She was the one who got me to hold the V-sit through those last 10 seconds of the tortuous minutes. She was the one who encouraged me to pedal harder, run faster and rotate a little more. Lisa is the best.

So what do I say to sum up 3 months of RapidFit, Rip:60 and a little thing called the Playground that have essentially changed the way I see myself? How’s this?: I feel better about myself than I have in years and I’m not done yet. This program is what I needed at this time in my life to help me find the joy that was hiding in me. How’s that?! Oh, and life? Get ready cause here I come!

Where's Mike?!

Ever since the she-devil caught wind of a certain blog last week, I’ve been worried about the safety of Mike, who I made the mistake of mentioning by name. I wasn't so worried about myself as it would be too obvious for the writer of the exposé to just disappear into thin (or hot) air. But Mike was an unwitting co-conspirator who did not ask to be part of this drama. When we showed up at class last Friday, there was the smile telling us that she always knew we were troublemakers. Little did we know the consequences of bringing her treacherous methods to light. Mike has now been gone for the last 2 classes. Coincidence?! This morning, Lisa coyly asked, while I was struggling through chest flys in the dungeon straps, where Mike was? I told her, “You know where he is…” She laughed joyfully and had me switch to the deltoid fly, as if that would shut me up. It did.

I knew I was in trouble when on Monday, while fighting through a long and excruciating V-sit, the princess of pain started kicking my feet and trying to knock me over. She claimed it was to help us develop more core balancing muscles, but she seemed to delight in it a bit too much for me to believe there was real purpose beyond simple torture. And who named this month’s exercises the Playground?! This is not like any playground I’ve ever run around on! The bike steals my lung capacity, though weirdly, I have to pedal faster and increase the tension to get the same workout lately. And the incline treadmill seems to be a little easier than it was 2 ½ months ago – probably some trick from the she-devil to make us think we are stronger. Every time I want to throw in the towel because something is too hard, there she is, pushing me with that smiling encouragement. Dang her! I think she also messes with time (what power DOESN’T she have?!) because classes seem to go by so fast that I can’t believe it’s over when the pitchfork hits the ending bell. I have to admit that I like this particular trick.

One final note to the unbelievers… After the workout ended today and we were cooling down, the voice came from behind me… “It’s soooo cold in here! We need more heat!!” Understand that we were all sweating and SHE (-devil) was cold. Kind of drives home the point that Lisa is used to a much warmer environment, if you know what I mean. And that brings us back to Mike. Release him, please, and let him return to the morning workouts! I promise we will be more obedient. If you have to take anyone, take the one who likes Burpees so much… You know who she is!

The Devil We Love....

I am drawn to pain. And I value muscle spasms and wheezing. That’s the only explanation I can offer for why I wake at 5:24 AM every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to drive to a nondescript storefront on the west side of Logan where I experience the afore-mentioned pain, muscle spasms and seriously labored wheezing. A sane person wouldn’t do that unless they liked it… right?! And like pledges going through hazing together in a fraternity, the other souls who also seem enticed by pain gather with me in a circle around the devil. Yes, the devil… She smiles the entire time we are warming up, clearly planning and conniving and relishing the thought of discovering new ways to make us cry out and beg for mercy. All the while, she just smiles. The smile that tells us we are in trouble…

Like sleepy sheep, we take our places and follow the orders, which are deceivingly mixed with positive encouragement – encouragement which only exists to keep us going to the next round of torture. Today, Mike and I were discussing (when the she-devil was busy inflicting punishment on someone else) whether Lisa (the she-devil's earthly name) received a bonus for causing someone to pass out. Brave Mike asked the she-devil if this were true and she said no, with a smile, and countered that the bonus came when she caused us to throw up! We KNEW it! We got back to our Rip 60 straps, which clearly could double as dungeon restraints, and did our best to stay in line as to not draw the ire of the ever smiling princess of darkness.

Incline running (21 percent grade!), pushups in straps, pull-ups, flys (wider!), spinning (faster, faster!), V-sits, lunges (lower!), planks, burpees (!!!) and walking on fiery coals (slower!)… It just went on and on and there she was, telling us to go from one to the other, waiting for obvious signs of lethal fatigue before shouting how good we were doing, causing us to lose perspective on reality and push a little harder. Our group has been being tortured like this for more than 8 weeks now. We have seen each other at our worst (Except for Kandy, who I think is a she-devil in training). We feel each other’s pain and we celebrate each round of survival in the midst of the queen of torture. Lisa allows us this little comfort of friendship because she senses that it keeps us pushing, for ourselves as well as for each other. When one of us is missing, we don’t wonder why they didn’t show… We simply wonder what SHE did with them, and if she will allow them back from wherever they were sent. We feel a kinship because we have to for the sake of survival. When we are one, we feel we are strong enough to keep the she-devil at bay. True or not, it is sometimes all we have to hold on to... 

Like powerless drones, we come back each morning knowing what lies before us. I wouldn’t call it willingly because it has become a sick habit. We go to push and be pushed. To feel the searing of our muscles and emptiness of each module in our lungs. To hear the princess of pain tell us our form is really improving… and that we are stronger than we were 8 weeks ago… And to tell us we are looking great. We lap up the encouragement from this smiling enigma of darkness and gain energy from her smile. And we think about the almost 4 weeks we have left of her doling out her ingeniously creative punishments and we wonder… How are we going to get along when it’s over and the she-devil is gone from our mornings? I am going to miss it like crazy.